The Vomiting Dinosaurs - Exoplanets

By Justin C. I reviewed some heavy albums near the end of 2016, and I mean "heavy" in every sense. Anagnorisis put together a powerful, multi-layered chunk of personal history, and I talked about Oskoreien's take on free will and mass shooter Charles Whitman. So it's time to start 2017 off with a little breather

By Justin C.


I reviewed some heavy albums near the end of 2016, and I mean "heavy" in every sense. Anagnorisis put together a powerful, multi-layered chunk of personal history, and I talked about Oskoreien's take on free will and mass shooter Charles Whitman. So it's time to start 2017 off with a little breather and revisit a more fun-loving project: The Vomiting Dinosaurs.

Matt Hinch covered Worship the Porcelain God, their first album for Grimoire Records, back in April of 2015. With their second Grimoire release, the band has turned their eyes skyward with Exoplanets. Exoplanets are planets that have been discovered outside our own solar system, and since we're hellbent on ruining our own, The Vomiting Dinosaurs's tour of the heavens comes at an appropriate time.

Matt described the band as "seriously amped thrash, death and grind," and to be honest, not much has changed on that score. If anything, the band has moved to slightly grindier song lengths, hovering around one minute in comparison to Porcelain God's two- and three-minute epics. "Lava Planet" clocks in at a massive four minutes, but the whole album (or EP?) tops out at 16 minutes. I live in the Boston area, so I've been able to measure my travel times in Exoplanet units. Most trips involve two to three full plays of the album at least, but you know what? I'm happy to let it repeat, because it's fast, dirty, and fun.

And I've learned some science by checking out some of the song titles. "Circumbinary" has a great, grumbling riff, while at the same time describing a planet that orbits two stars instead of one. "Ganymede" is a short ambient interlude, but did you know it's also a moon of Jupiter that happens to have its own magnetic field and a thin oxygen atmosphere? If you use Exoplanets as a study guide, though, you do need to be careful: "Jupiter" is not, in fact, an exoplanet, although the song's only lyrics, "I AM SO BIG!" is a correct description of the planet.

But maybe don't worry about the details so much and just thrash around in your car to this one. I promise it will help make the grim ending of 2016 and worrisome beginning to 2017 seem far away for at least a little while.

The Vomiting Dinosaurs - Worship the Porcelain God

By Matt Hinch. Now just hold on. Yes, a name like The Vomiting Dinosaurs does sound laughable, and at first I was thinking “Really?” That coupled with the cover art (the toilet from the last metal show you went to in an apocalyptic garbage heap)

By Matt Hinch.

Artwork by Gruesome Graphics

Now just hold on. Yes, a name like The Vomiting Dinosaurs does sound laughable, and at first I was thinking “Really?” That coupled with the cover art (the toilet from the last metal show you went to in an apocalyptic garbage heap) and most people would be likely to dismiss it outright. But since it came from the Grimoire Records camp I gave it a shot. And wow! Worship the Porcelain God is actually pretty good!

The Virginian trio put together a very Reign in Blood-like 28 minutes of seriously amped thrash, death and grind. Depending on the track and the angle you look at it from, Worship the Porcelain God can feel like any one of those genres, or all of them at once.

The vocals fall into two camps, black metallic and deathly growl (sort of like a vomiting dinosaur). Both quite well done. Except maybe the 30 second track tacked on called “Cat Slug”. It's just the vocalist(?) sounding like a slug coughing up a hairball. Kinda gross, definitely unnecessary but at least it's at the end. But in case you hadn't guessed already this isn't exactly a serious band.

They are serious about kickin' ass though. Crunchy, grinding guitars rip and slash through high-velocity thrashiness and grind-fueled madness. There's even a bit of a crossover feel.

It's not all speed though. Groovier, chugging riffs have their place too. Perhaps it's just where my mind/ears/eyes have been this weekend but The Vomiting Dinosaurs sort of recall the speed of Rigor Mortis, or the menacing blackened thrash of Blood Tsunami. Thrash weekend.

If you can relax a little, shake off that seriousness and give The Vomiting Dinosaurs a chance. You'll be rewarded with a concise blast of grinding death/thrash full of energy and ripping rhythms and riffs. And songs like “ChristianMingle.kill”, “Crypt Kegger” and “Speed Metal Hunks”. Keeping the majority of the 12 tracks under the three minute mark squeezes out the need for solos though. There's the grind for ya.

Grab some buds, some brews, vomit like dinosaurs and Worship the Porcelain God!