The Vomiting Dinosaurs - Worship the Porcelain God

By Matt Hinch. Now just hold on. Yes, a name like The Vomiting Dinosaurs does sound laughable, and at first I was thinking “Really?” That coupled with the cover art (the toilet from the last metal show you went to in an apocalyptic garbage heap)

By Matt Hinch.

Artwork by Gruesome Graphics

Now just hold on. Yes, a name like The Vomiting Dinosaurs does sound laughable, and at first I was thinking “Really?” That coupled with the cover art (the toilet from the last metal show you went to in an apocalyptic garbage heap) and most people would be likely to dismiss it outright. But since it came from the Grimoire Records camp I gave it a shot. And wow! Worship the Porcelain God is actually pretty good!

The Virginian trio put together a very Reign in Blood-like 28 minutes of seriously amped thrash, death and grind. Depending on the track and the angle you look at it from, Worship the Porcelain God can feel like any one of those genres, or all of them at once.

The vocals fall into two camps, black metallic and deathly growl (sort of like a vomiting dinosaur). Both quite well done. Except maybe the 30 second track tacked on called “Cat Slug”. It's just the vocalist(?) sounding like a slug coughing up a hairball. Kinda gross, definitely unnecessary but at least it's at the end. But in case you hadn't guessed already this isn't exactly a serious band.

They are serious about kickin' ass though. Crunchy, grinding guitars rip and slash through high-velocity thrashiness and grind-fueled madness. There's even a bit of a crossover feel.

It's not all speed though. Groovier, chugging riffs have their place too. Perhaps it's just where my mind/ears/eyes have been this weekend but The Vomiting Dinosaurs sort of recall the speed of Rigor Mortis, or the menacing blackened thrash of Blood Tsunami. Thrash weekend.

If you can relax a little, shake off that seriousness and give The Vomiting Dinosaurs a chance. You'll be rewarded with a concise blast of grinding death/thrash full of energy and ripping rhythms and riffs. And songs like “ChristianMingle.kill”, “Crypt Kegger” and “Speed Metal Hunks”. Keeping the majority of the 12 tracks under the three minute mark squeezes out the need for solos though. There's the grind for ya.

Grab some buds, some brews, vomit like dinosaurs and Worship the Porcelain God!